Thursday, September 23, 2010

My mom

The day my dad died I think my mom went with him.  Dad died of all sorts of lung issues due to years of smoking.  It was a blessing that he passed as we all wondered why God had him hold on as long as he did.  I did not attend the funeral because a last minute flight down to Texas from MN would have cost about $700 and I didn't feel the need to go.  I knew she was in good hands and was well taken care of.  When you ask if I come from a large family, meaning blood relations, the answer is no.  If you want to know how many people cared about us as sisters and brothers, we come from the largest family known to man.  She was fine and I knew I didn't need to be there. 

He passed away October 13, 2007 and I decided to fly down with Ethan for Christmas so she'd have someone there for the first holiday time alone. Little did I know that most of her time would be taken up with the "retired single" people, people in their 50's and 60's who are single and out for a good time.  It was the first time I saw my mom drink four, or was it five, of those dollar margaritas in Mexico and act like a teenager. What was she doing?  She was out late dancing with her new found friends.  Ethan and I were alone a lot and I was ready to come home after a week.  What a waste of airfare and a trip.  At least I got to see some of my friends from back in the day.

Ethan onstage with my mom at a jam.  We come from a very musical family as I grew up in American Legions, VFW's, dance halls, and at outside jams.  I should blog about it.

 Then we didn't see mom until June of 2008 when she stopped in for three days on her way back from Alaska.  Her boyfriend, J, didn't feel comfortable and was in a hurry to get home, so off she went.  We were able to show her a few things around town and meet some of Kendall's family.  I know I have 4 or 5 pictures from that visit, but I don't know where they are.  Eh.

THEN, we didn't see her again till I was six months pregnant with Ernest and I drove Ethan and myself down in the minivan February 2009 and came back up a few weeks later.  I had already gone through a year of her not being around much as she had moved in with J up in Tennessee and we, the family, didn't really hear much from her.  I decided I didn't know what she was doing so I wanted to go down to Texas and get some things before she moved them to Tennessee never to be seen again or something.  The day after we arrived in Texas Kendall called to let me know he'd been laid off and would be home that day.  But that's a whole other blog post.  Mostly, Ethan and I hung out at home and went through boxes of stuff.  We held a garage sale and threw a LOT of stuff away. 

Ethan washing the minivan in February.  Oh Texas weather, how I miss thee...

Being pelted by sand at the beach, South Padre Island.

My brother, I have one, ended up saving the day by helping me load up a 5x8 uhaul that I towed up to Minnesota.  Six months pregnant + a 2 year old Ethan + trying to load up a uhaul = tiring/frusterating/good luck!  She left with J to Tennessee before I left to go back to Minnesota.  Yeah, it was a frusterating time.

On the way home we stopped and visited with my one aunt, two cousins and their families.

This is my Aunt Patty, whom when I call I still ask for "Aunt Patty".  I call every once and a while and send pictures because I love my Aunt Patty and miss her and her crew dearly.  She is my mom's only sister.  We went out to eat to a BBQ restraunt that served sweet tea in mason jars, decorated the walls with license plates and dead animals, and the sauce was home made.  Oh Texas, how I miss thee...

  Then, when we moved down to Texas for this past winter (November 2009-February 2010) we saw her even less.  She was busy at the flea market with J, they have a humungo 40 foot rv down at the flea market and sell their junk there.  It's there thing and is a fun hobby.  I know it's something Kendall wouldn't mind doing, but we need things like health insurance and a secure income so it'll have to wait. :-). 
Mom and Ethan at the flea market playing a piano. :)

Ethan giving mom a hug for his Valentine's day card, so sweet!

At the beach, once again in February, and it was a chilly day.  See the background fog?

I asked her recently if she was coming for Christmas to see the kids and meet the baby.  She said she was going skiing.  J has recently been diagnosed with all sorts of health problems so she's been helping him.  They live on a farm at the foot of the mountains with acres, chickens, 2 horses and a donkey.  She sounds busy and active when I talk to her.  We talk about 2 or 3 times a month now.  When dad was around we talked every day sometimes two times a day.  I don't get it, I don't know why she's so displaced.  All I know is I am learning how not to do it.  Note to self: when I have grandbabies I will go see them.  I will visit my children every year for more than a week.  I will keep my children a priority even when they are done being children. 

Poop.  It would be nice to have her around more.  She was always encouraging and had nicer things to say.  I love her and miss having her around.

No comments:

Post a Comment