Hashi Toyota Motorola, huh?

It says "Daddy's Little Angel" taken when she was six weeks old.

Ernest the Goober Child who is striking what I would call a televangelist pose.

Onward to our subject:


I can't help but laugh when people say "Huh?" to the name of this hashi thingie... It's called Motorola disease.  I mean Toyota Corolla?  Karate Giujitsu?  Lol, okay I'm a dork.

Down to business:

"Hashimoto’s is an immune problem not a thyroid problem. The immune system is destroying the gland, and that is the reason the thyroid is producing less hormone." Source

I need to reboot my immune system.  On one hand I'm relieved I can cover the symptoms daily by taking a pill.  On the other hand, I don't want a band aid.  I want this to be fixed!  Don't medicate my symptoms, fix my body so it don't have symptoms in the first place!

Kendall has, SURPRISINGLY, been very supportive of my decision to change up our eating habits.  Like I've said before, I cook and serve as much as I can from a natural approach meaning less top Tombstone pizza and more roast with veggies. (Note: I do carry an emergency bag of frozen burritos in the freezer.  Don't judge.)   However, I have taken it to a higher level of dedication and reform. 

My favorite 'good for you' blog on natural eating is Nourishing Kitchen.  It is the complete opposite of the SAD (Standard American Diet) and is downright dirty when the topic of McDonald's is approached.  This is where I get my recipes for bone marrow broth using dog bones and Kombucha.  I searched 'thyroid' and ten hits were on the first page. My favorite post concerning hypothyroidism is the one simply entitle Foods to Promote Thyroid Health.  Alrighty then.

The least, the very least, I can do is change my eatting habits.  I'm a firm believer that my midwife urging me to consume more protein during my pregnancy with Emma led me to gain little weight with her, thus I am below my starting weight.  Now if I could only lose Eleanor, Ernest, and Ethan's pregnancy weight...  That said, I'm ready to buckle down and take it to the next step.  No sugar and no coffee.  Gasp.  Lord help me.  Lord help my husband!

Day one went well.  It only went well because I ate a chocolate chip cookie on the way home from church and then realized it, mid bite!, that I was consuming said chocolate chip cookie so I threw it in the back to the two year old.  He has a great metabolism, let him eat it!  (For now.  We're doing a family eatting overhaul so even the kids are going to have to let up on the sweets.)  However, I skipped on the post-church coffee.  And today I added no sugar to my sun tea.  I rock!  Let's see how day three goes. 

A bump is a lump no matter how small

Oh you pesky health issues, be gone!

April 2011 I felt a bit of a lump on my throat while putting on my moisturizer.  I decided to have a full physical performed and specifically asked that my TSH (thyroid stuff) be checked.  After googling some pesky issues, and hearing some reassurance from a friend that it did indeed sound like thyroid problems, I was anxious to hear the results.  Sure enough, my level was at a 11 and it should be under a three.  My hair was falling and clogging my shower, I was very tired, and I couldn't seem to lose my Eleanor-baby-weight.  I had been thinking that I had these symptoms because Eleanor was five months old at the time and it was my hormones leveling out.  After the physical I was given a prescription for synthroid which is a synthetic version of TSH and I started to feel better again.  However, that pesky lump never did make its exit.  And then I became pregnant with Emma in May.

Skip to summer of 2012.  Emma is born, this lump has grown, it is tender, and I'm annoyed at its very presence in my body.  Lump, I'm so over you.  I made an online appointment with a random doctor instead of my family physician because I wanted to keep the two seperate.  Weird, I know, but it's my brains fault and I just follow through.  She recommended having an ultrasound and we were scheduled for the following week.  At my ultrasound, which took all of ten minutes, I could actually the doggone thing staring back at me.  Ewwwww!  I did not like the idea of a "random mass of cells" making its home in my neck, much less being able to view it.  It was also new feeling being in ultrasound without hearing a new itty-bitty heartbeat.

My thinking- "My ultrasound is on a Thursday.  I don't want the doc to call me until Monday.  Anytime before that is bad news." Well, she called Friday and scheduled a biopsy the following week. Great.

So how does one go about having a biopsy performed on your neck?  Good question.  The sweet ultrasound tech reassured me that it was painfree other than a stick of benzocaine.  (Or is it lidocaine? Novacaine? Whatever 'caine' it is, sign me up!)  I'd already gotten the scoop on how it all really feels from a friend that has this procedure done annually, God bless that woman.  She said her eyes water and her toes curled.  I was not looking forward to this.  Plus, in all of my wonder, I youtubed the procedure.  NEVER EVER EVER YOUTUBE MEDICAL PROCEDURES!

I kept the room light with jokes about usually seeing my uterus in this room and how the doc had better get this done right the first time because it's pretty hard to find a willing friend to watch all four kids for free, ha!  Anyway, numbed me up he did and boy howdy it was a lovely pain followed by "Nope, don't feel a thing!" And then he started the procedure....

I sang every song in my head that I could think of acompanied by mental visions of puppies, cupcakes, and chocolate bars.  Lord Jesus help my find my happy place ALMIGHTY!  "Did you feel that?"  As if the nail marks on the chair and the fact my toes are curled up into my butt don't give it away.  "Yes sir, I did.  It was...uncomfortable."  Ok so he dosed me up with some more numbing love and poked away.  Oh- the doc pokes your lump with a needle REPEATIVELY to fill it up with bad mojo's cells. Good grief.  Finally, he just went at it with five needle pokes and got it done.  I really do believe that it was the lump that didn't want to cooperate in this mess and I do not place blame at all on my radiologist.  It's not his fault my psycho neck cells have an attitude.

A day in my life: Let's go to the doctor's office!

At the end of the day two days ago I sat in my recliner, nursed Emma, and thought to myself "Wow, I don't know how I do it either."  The days are long and short all at the same time.  They are tiring both physically (you try carrying a three year old, one year old, car seat, and groceries downstair during nap time!) and mentally.  How many times a day I say ELEANOR ANN, I do not know.

I decided to take all four kids in for their physical all at the same time.  There is a tremendous amount of isolated thunderstorms in our area right now, so you are either cold and wet or hot and humid.  Our appointment was at 4:00 and we took up the entire hour with all four kids all in a row.  I'm just setting up the scene for ya folks, hang with me.  I knew that this was going to be an interesting affair since I wasn't going to take in the sit and stand nor put Emma in a sling since when we arrived at the clinic it was 3:49 and pouring rain.  For the first time, I was early with all four on my own.  Granted Eleanor had no shoes on but that's the norm for us.

We have a pep talk in the minivan before we show the clinic what they are in for. 

Crazy woman with all those kids: LISTEN UP.  We are going to go see the doctor.

Ernest:  We coming home with a baby, mama?

Crazy woman with all those kids: Nope, we are going to have a checkup.  He's going to look you over, make sure everything is working fine, then we'll be done.  Easy!  No screaming, yelling, or running in the office!  THIS IS A WORK ENVIROMENT, NOT THE PARK.  Does everyone understand?

Everyone nodds in agreement.

Crazy woman with all those kids: Be respectful of the workers and other sick people here, got it?

Everyone nodds in agreement.

We commence unloading.  Eleanor is unbuckled and stands on the edge of the door while I unbuckle Ernest and get Emma's carseat out.  Eleanor is not trustworthy of staying close to me and will most likely dart into traffic like a scared deer.  Ernest has enough commonsense to not run around but will jump with excitment about being anywhere but at home, thus scaring nearby drivers which I am happy about because they all drive too darn fast in the parking lot anyway.  Ethan mozy's on out.  Hold Eleanors hand on the left, carry Emma on the right, Ernest and Ethan are holding hands, here we go.

Ernest: Mama, we go to da doctor?  Whhhhhhhy?

Crazy woman with all those kids: To make sure everything's working correctly on your body.  We don't want you to fall a part.

Ernest:  Oh.  (Serious look) Why?

Crazy woman with all those kids: Look Ernest!  There are fish in that water!
Questioning almost-three-year-old is now fixated on fish, I am now able to not have to answer yet another queestion.  Whew.

I am now standing in a way too long line in a hot and humid lobby with Eleanor trying to put on her shoes, Ethan asking what type of fish there are, Ernest screaming "Mama look!  LOOK!  A baby fish!" and Emma is starting to move around. Why is there NO AIR CONDITIONING!?!?

After fifteen minutes of "Here, sign here date there and promise not to sue for anything" I haul them all down the warmest hallway ever while carrying Eleanor (with still no shoes on), Emma in the other hand, Ethan carrying Eleanor's shoes, and Ernest running up and down ahead of me.  "What did I say in the minivan?  No running!" and he smiles his little smile and says "Ok mama" as he gallops off.


Ok, now I'm too tired to type.  In the end, Dr Jensen is holding Eleanor on a hip, the nurse is giving out stickers and books, and Emma fell asleep.  I'm hot. I'm sweating and sticky from this humidity.  Something smells like poop.  And I'm going to bed.  After I take a shower, do the dishes, wipe off the table, and make a trail to the bedroom.  It's just a season?


Note:
We have stopped immunizing our kids for the moment.  As in, let me get a better feeling about what I'm doing to my child before I take any further steps.  I don't mean to cause waves in the medical field, I do believe the majority of our nations doctors are doing what they feel is best for everyone.  That said- we did not poke anyone today. 

How to say "I love you" in the language of Crystal.

I finally took a "What's your love language" survey and low and behold Acts of Service is highest in the ranking.

9-Acts of Service
8-Quality Time
6-Recieving Gifts
4-Physical Touch
3-Words of Affirmation

From the Love Languages website, the Acts of Service explanation says the words I'd most like to hear are "Let me do that for you." That is amazing, Kendall said "Is there anything I can do for you?" and I about fell over.  It's true.  I do feel like I have plenty on my plate and if my mate would like to help alleviate the load, or at least make it more simple to accomplish, then I am all for it! However, "laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter."  TALK ABOUT HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!  I have a hard time with Kendall having a Saturday of doing nothing, or not having a goal in mind for the day.  How can anyone sit and do nothing when there is so much to do?!  I see lots to do!  Not only is there the daily grind of laundry, dishes, and poopy diapers, but there is so much to see and do in the world!  We live down the street from a gorgeous wildlife refuge, let's go for a walk!  Let's build something! Let's do... anything!  Watching a movie in the middle of the day is completely aggrivating to me.  Taking a four hour nap makes me furious.  Even when I'm the one doing it, why'd you let me sleep so long!  Poor Kendall can't win sometimes.  I also believe I was raised in an enviroment where if you can physically work, then you will be working.  Mom rarely napped, even when we were little.  Mom rarely sat down!  Dad built things, fixed stuff, and was generally moving around until he became too sick.  Then he watched every episode of This Old House and  How Stuff Works. 

Quality time goes hand in hand with Acts of Service.  If I'm being helped in something that is meaningful to me, then we are spending quality time together.  For example, when Kendall is cleaning out a closet, and I'm folding laundry, this falls under Quality Time with a bonus of Acts of Service.  It's like he's saying "I know this closet has been bugging you and you are busy folding laundry, so I'm going to "Acts of Service" you and take care of this closet while you are folding laundry so we can "Quality Time"." Confused?  Also, I want us to all be together as much as possible.  I don't want Ethand playing video games, Ernest coloring, Kendall playing computer games, Eleanor making a mess, while I'm doing dishes.  Why can't we all play a game while the kids are awake, then I'll finish dishes while he puts them to bed, then we can watch a movie and hang out before we hit the hay?  This all makes perfect sense to me in my own world.

Gifts are a big deal to me three times a year.  I'm not going to lie, it's true.  My birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas.  Three times is not large task and I'm not asking for ruby slippers and a new Mercedes.  I like to celebrate life and the moments in them.  Birthday's are for celebrating the birth of that particular person and being grateful that person exisits and is in our lives.  I carefully choose presents for people for events, never leaving it to the last possible second.  And even then, it's thoughtfuly purchased with the full intention of the reciepent appreciating it.  Wowza.  So three times a year to think of something nice for me is so doable (in my world once again).  Bonus: going to the grocery store and picking up a single carnation from the floral department 'just because', coming home from the flea market with a plate that he thought I might like, etc.  These are all reason's I have four children.

Drink your worries away

I have started juicing apples, carrots, and celery to make a type of juice fast drink thingie.  I feel like I'm full of funky toxins and I want them out.  My body has yet to reach a point where I feel comfortable saying "I have recovered from child birth".  In the past it's taken all of a week.  A part of it is indeed not being able to rest like I have been, I feel the pressure to keep the house picked up and have a nutrious meal.  I don't really care if it's good or not, just more nutrion than macarroni and cheese.  Go me.

The surprising thing is my kids really have enjoyed these juices.  They are not overly sweet at all like grape juice or apple juice.  I feel like they are the most natural drink beverage I can give them, other than water of course and even then there are all sorts of chemicals in our cities water, so much infact that before we bought our water filter it burned my nose to turn on the faucet.  You know it's bad when you want a drink of water and it smells like a pool.  I'm headed out the door now to purchase some kale and more apples. Here's to a happy healthy lifestyle!

Trying on suits for our family picture.  Ethan's a size 8 and Ernest is a size 3t

Emma's birth story

Ready to have a baby and be comfortable again.  Check out that belly!

It took seven pokes a super-cool-Star-Trek-looking gadget to get an I.V. going.  I recommend having a shot of benzocaine to numb an I.V. spot before attempting a full on stick with the needle.  Eventually my nurse had to use a smaller needle and it held on with a prayer.  I had the sore arms and bruises to prove those needle sticks!  I kept saying "I've stepped on Lego's in the dead of night and thety hurt worse than this!"  But I.V.'s are still an owie in my book.

Walking around to get the pitocin to work.  I had a pole next to me and would take off all of those belts and straps so I could walk around.

The pitocin was started at 4:30pm.  At 8:00 I had my nurse check me and she said I was "easily at a five".  I would have been happy with being three centimeters!  At 8:30 my doctor came in and broke my water and immediately my contracts were extremely strong and exactly two minutes a part.  I was laying in bed and said "I need to get on my birthing ball before these contractions get even harder and I can't move."  I waited until a contraction ended and then moved onto the ball.  Christina was quietly saying "Good job" and "Breath your baby out" which is so true.  I concentrated on having a loose jaw, non-clenched hands, and to not tense up when feeling a contraction coming on.  It is so 'against nature' to not tense up, it's like not holding on for dear life when you see you're in a head on collision.  However, it helps the contraction do its job if you chill out and don't get scared.

I asked Christina to braid my hair.  I wanted to at least have my hair out of my face for pictures.  In this picture I look like I'm at about 9 cm.  The ice pack is on my arm from recieving antibiotics that hurt like the dickens!  The nurse rushed two doses into my vein at one time and boy did it sting, so we put an ice pack on my arm.  I felt like a wasp sting.

After about forty minutes of intense labor I looked up at Christina and said "I feel grunty" which are code words for "I am about two contractions from pushing out a baby".  I wiggled back into bed, saw that Christina and the nurse were at the foot of the bed, felt at peace enough to push without having to announce that I needed to, and pushed her out.  Pushing a baby is out is bittersweet.  I can relate it to puking your guts out- while it hurts and is highly uncomfortable, you immediately feel so much better that the pain is almost welcomed.  Or something like that. :D

Kendall wasted no time calling people.  She was born at 9:11. 

I am not the type of mother who immediately wants to see her baby.  I always ask for 'a moment'.  I just need a moment to close my eyes, come down a bit from my adrenaline rush, tell my brain to tell my body that my baby and myself are safe and healthy, and to just breath and chill out.  Then I welcome my baby with opens arms.

Have you ever realized how incredibly soft a newborn baby's skin is?  Unbelievable.  I was trying to accept that she is born and I'm no longer pregnant. 

Adoring our new daughter.  I love this photograph.

Our doctor did not make it back in time and our nurses delivered her.  Fine by me but I wanted to be sure we got a picture of him holding her.  I have so much respect and admiration for this man.  I'm glad we found him, he is incredibly well-knowledged and respects families choices. 

My friend first, my midwife second.  I cherish this woman.  She has such a heart for children and babies.  I always feel like a queen when I'm at her house, her and her kids wait on me hand and foot with ice water and home made tapioca pudding.  This is a picture of our end product :).

Our nurse who delivered Emma.  She was soft spoken and worked well under pressure.  Anyone could tell she had been a nurse for a number of years.

Cuddling my newborn.  I'm so happy to be holding her.  We went through a lot to get her here!

Emma was born pretty dry without any vernix (white cheesey gunk), long hair, long nails, not too much amniotic fluid.  Her cheeks show she was well fed in the womb!

Both Christina and the nurse applauded Kendall's professional swaddling skills. He had definitely swaddled a baby before!

Our trip from the "Labor and Delivery" side of OB to the "Let's heal up and go home!" side!

Emma's bath.  Kendall took this shot while I was asleep.  I had no idea she'd been out of the room until I noticed she was clean the next day!

The kid's first time seeing Emma!  Look at Ethan's face!

SO PROUD!  I had told Ethan that Emma would come at Valentine's Day.  Valentine's Day came and went so I said she'd be coming soon.  You'd better believe every time I went to Christina's house or to a doctor's visit he'd ask when Emma was going to come out of my belly.  Many times he said "Emma should come out now.  I'm just so excited.  Emma should come today."

Eleanor gets to see Emma.  Eleanor is 17 months old.

Our cousin's get to see Emma for the first time.  We were all so happy to meet a new baby!

Ernest holding Emma.  He held her for a few seconds then decided she was too heavy.  It was pretty cute.

COUSINS!  Our kids and Kendall's brother and his wife's kids.  Seven little children ages five and under in one hospital room!

Ethan cuddling with her.  About makes me cry.  This is totally him, and wasn't taught and he was told to do this.  He is naturally this sweet with babies.

Kendall's brother being sweet with her.  He has his own mess of kiddo's now!  It's amazing how we all have our families and how much they have grown!

Holding Emma with Ernest.  Ernest is more reserved when it comes to changes in his enviroment, I knew it would take some time for him to be comfortable around her.

My sweet family!  Kendall and the kids!

My kiddos.  Ethan's 5, Ernest is 2, Eleanor is 17 months, Emma is a day old.

A family of six!

My sweet friends came to visit.  Amy on the left is pregnant with her sixth baby.  Sue has six, or is it seven?, kids and drives a huge van plus she delivered her twins naturally.  I applaud these women!

Christina and her youngest daughter came to visit us.  They both adored Emma.

Two more of my dear friends came to visit.  My friend Anna on the left loves ladybugs so I made sure Emma was wearing her ladybug hat.  By this time, I had been able to take a shower and put on my own clothes.  It so nice to relax in my own nightgown instead of a hospital gown.  I tried to make everything feel as home-like as possible since the odd's of me having a homebirth or slim to none.

Emma Elizabeth

And a picture to make you laugh, Eleanor in her Hello Kitty sunglasses.  I love my life.

Thank you to all of my friends who have kept tabs on my pregnancy, labor, and family via blog and facebook.  Wasn't it such an adventure getting her here?!  I'm so glad it's over and I can say I've recovered much slower than I anticipated but Kendall was an incredible helper and all of the meals that have brought to our house have be appreciated.  I cannot say enough thank you's!  Thank you for bringing our family meals!  Thank you for praying for Emma and myself!  Thank you everyone for your uplifting words there at the end of my pregnancy!

Patience paid

Kendall recieved a phone call today from the ManagerKindaGuy (I don't know what he's called but it's some sort of authority figure from a 'career' type job aka: a job I've never had).  The ManagerKindaGuy recieved authorization from the owner and the head human resources lady to hire Kendall granted Kendall passes his background check and drug check.  There is no reason for Kendall to not pass these two checks therefore we have decided that he is hired and we are waiting for him to sign all of that official type of paperwork (W2 and whatnot) and he'll be HIRED.  Like, a real job.  A "JOB" job!  A CAREER JOB!

Three years ago I was 6 months pregnant with Ernest when he was laid off.  Eleanor was five weeks old when we stopped recieving any type of income.  Emma had just turned three weeks old when Kendall recieved good news of a new job!  Ever single pregnancy/birth has been accompanied by another life changing chapter (well, other than the fact that I was having a baby).  Amazing.  

I'm most excited about having a new adventure in life.  Kendall said I could start looking for new furniture.  As in, furniture with drawers that open and close easily!  And we've started looking for a new home.  Get excited people. :)