Friday, May 11, 2012

How to say "I love you" in the language of Crystal.

I finally took a "What's your love language" survey and low and behold Acts of Service is highest in the ranking.

9-Acts of Service
8-Quality Time
6-Recieving Gifts
4-Physical Touch
3-Words of Affirmation

From the Love Languages website, the Acts of Service explanation says the words I'd most like to hear are "Let me do that for you." That is amazing, Kendall said "Is there anything I can do for you?" and I about fell over.  It's true.  I do feel like I have plenty on my plate and if my mate would like to help alleviate the load, or at least make it more simple to accomplish, then I am all for it! However, "laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter."  TALK ABOUT HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!  I have a hard time with Kendall having a Saturday of doing nothing, or not having a goal in mind for the day.  How can anyone sit and do nothing when there is so much to do?!  I see lots to do!  Not only is there the daily grind of laundry, dishes, and poopy diapers, but there is so much to see and do in the world!  We live down the street from a gorgeous wildlife refuge, let's go for a walk!  Let's build something! Let's do... anything!  Watching a movie in the middle of the day is completely aggrivating to me.  Taking a four hour nap makes me furious.  Even when I'm the one doing it, why'd you let me sleep so long!  Poor Kendall can't win sometimes.  I also believe I was raised in an enviroment where if you can physically work, then you will be working.  Mom rarely napped, even when we were little.  Mom rarely sat down!  Dad built things, fixed stuff, and was generally moving around until he became too sick.  Then he watched every episode of This Old House and  How Stuff Works. 

Quality time goes hand in hand with Acts of Service.  If I'm being helped in something that is meaningful to me, then we are spending quality time together.  For example, when Kendall is cleaning out a closet, and I'm folding laundry, this falls under Quality Time with a bonus of Acts of Service.  It's like he's saying "I know this closet has been bugging you and you are busy folding laundry, so I'm going to "Acts of Service" you and take care of this closet while you are folding laundry so we can "Quality Time"." Confused?  Also, I want us to all be together as much as possible.  I don't want Ethand playing video games, Ernest coloring, Kendall playing computer games, Eleanor making a mess, while I'm doing dishes.  Why can't we all play a game while the kids are awake, then I'll finish dishes while he puts them to bed, then we can watch a movie and hang out before we hit the hay?  This all makes perfect sense to me in my own world.

Gifts are a big deal to me three times a year.  I'm not going to lie, it's true.  My birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas.  Three times is not large task and I'm not asking for ruby slippers and a new Mercedes.  I like to celebrate life and the moments in them.  Birthday's are for celebrating the birth of that particular person and being grateful that person exisits and is in our lives.  I carefully choose presents for people for events, never leaving it to the last possible second.  And even then, it's thoughtfuly purchased with the full intention of the reciepent appreciating it.  Wowza.  So three times a year to think of something nice for me is so doable (in my world once again).  Bonus: going to the grocery store and picking up a single carnation from the floral department 'just because', coming home from the flea market with a plate that he thought I might like, etc.  These are all reason's I have four children.


  1. "Lisa Pederson is bringing supper." is Kendall's love language, hehe. and I love your gifts! You rock!

  2. i am the same when it comes to the surprise 'gifts'. Recieving Gifts
    is my top love language. i have ever rock that Adelles has ever given me in a special rock garden at the front of the house :)